Our Stories

Kathy and Gary's Story

Kathy and Gary Collier have been married 30 years and are the parents of one 26 year old son, Joshua. Gary’s job as a financial director for Sears for 33 years has afforded them the opportunity to live in several different states. Two years ago, with Gary’s transfer to Dallas they returned to their native Texas after being gone for twenty-five years and are members of the board of Dallas PFLAG. After serving as a classroom teacher, high school principal, middle school counselor for twenty years and a brief five years in the corporate world, Kathy was ordained as a Presbyterian pastor seven years ago and currently serves a small congregation in Forney. They are committed to being "straight" voices for the GLBT community.

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Dave & Joyce's Story

by Dave Gleason

Bobby was our first born child, and our only son. Wendy and Emily followed shortly thereafter and almost before we knew it - our family was complete - one boy, two girls - all in less than five years of marriage. We lived in Michigan, Minnesota & Illinois before coming to Dallas in the summer of 1975.

Bobby was a really good boy growing up. as were the two girls. We dreamed the dreams that all parents do - and before we knew it our kids were almost grown.  We never "ever" gave one moment's thought to Bobby being gay. He and his best friend Stephanie were together from the fourth grade on. He was "normal" in every way.

Early in his freshman year at Austin College in Sherman, Texas, Bobby told us that he was gay. He told us that he was not sure how we would react to this news. He hoped that we would still love him. He worried about being the only son (what would happen to the family name?) He said that he thought that he would go to hell because of his sexual orientation (we grew up Catholic and he had heard what the priests had said about being gay). In one quick moment, our dreams for Bobby, and what we thought he would grow up to be - were gone!

Joyce took the news worse than I did. She didn't believe it was true. Through her tears she told Bobby that he could change - she told Bobby that she would get a priest and everything would be all right. A priest did come to our house, but after talking with Bobby  for quite awhile, without Joyce or I around, he informed us that Bobby was really gay - he told us that Bobby's sexual orientation wasn't going to change no matter how hard we prayed. He told us to put our energy into dealing with the reality of our new situation.

Immediately after our meeting with the priest, we gathered our whole family together and shared Bobby's "secret" with everyone. His sister's were wonderful and Bobby went back to college knowing that he could begin to share parts of his new life with everyone in his family. Our home, "again,"  became a place for Bobby and his friends to gather on the weekends. It was good for us as parents to see other gays & lesbians in our home. We began to realize that they all were really "neat" people, just like our son Bobby. The years went by and we got more and more comfortable with the "new" Bobby and the "new" community that he belonged to. Our daughters married and both of their husbands not only accepted Bobby's sexual orientation but they "affirmed" it.  Bobby, eventually found the person who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and he and Charles were joined in a Holy Union.

10 years had passed since Bobby first told us that he was gay. We had grown a lot as a family but we had never shared his "secret" with anyone outside our immediate family. I wasn't that we were ashamed or afraid - we just didn't see how it would matter if other people knew "what we knew" (We hadn't even told any of the grandparents !). In 1994 things changed. Bobby again called us together and told us another "secret". Charles was dying of AIDS and Bobby was HIV positive ! Joyce and I were devistated. In the depths of our grief we both began to look for ways that we could help. For the first time it seemed to make sense that we should share our story with people outside our family.  As we began to give friends & neighbors a "face" to go with this issue, we began to see that we could make a difference. We became empowered with this new found "gift".

Unfortunately Charles passed away and Bobby's health began to deteriorate. In early 1995, Bobby was given the opportunity to test the new "drug cocktail".  Almost immediately his health began to improve. As Bobby got better we were filled with confidence and felt even stronger about getting more involved in the struggles of the gay community. Joyce founded a group called Mother's Hope, we both found PFLAG and I eventually became president of the local chapter.  It has been a long journey and its not over yet ! Bobby and his new partner Mike have bought a home in Dallas and are living their own special dream. Joyce and I continue to be thankful that we are a part of all our children's lives. We have come to look at Bobby's life as a special blessing. Something that should be shared with as many people as possible, whenever the opportunity presents itself !

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Jeffrey's Story

Jeffery Weber is a gay man. Born in Grand Forks, North Dakota, he moved to Dallas in 1972 after serving on active duty in the U.S. Navy. He has been involved in the GLBT community since 1989 and continues to be a member and supporter of various political, cultural, and social organizations, both locally and nationally. He was Logistics Chair for two career fairs to assist young GLBT individuals (Stonewall Professional and Business Association). He served for many years on the Dallas/Fort Worth National Coming Out Day Project and was responsible for holding two inter-denominational church services in celebration of National Coming Out Day. A former Episcopalian, he attends Cathedral of Hope, an independent, non-denominational Christian Church. Jeffery is a retired librarian/manager with the Dallas Public Library. While working at the Oak Lawn Library he began a Special Collection of material by GLBT authors or about subjects of importance to the GLBT community and helped to publish brochures on AIDS information and a fiction/non-ficition reading list. Jeffery is Librarian and Treasurer of PFLAG Dallas. His passion is writing letters to the editor and working for full equality for GLBT Americans. You will see Jeffery at many community events in Dallas, from marches and parades to concerts and fundraisers.

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Rick & Donna's Story

by Donna Akin

There are certain events in your life that you remember forever –first dates, your wedding day, the birth of a child, and the day your son or daughter tells you they are gay.

I’ll never forget the day Aaron came out to me.  My husband, Rick, was out of town on business and I had settled in for an evening of television.  Aaron came into the room, threw a piece of paper at me and darted back out of the room. The note read, “I need to tell you something”.

When I walked into Aaron’s room, he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He raised his head and when I looked into his eyes I knew something was terribly wrong.  He was so pale and distraught and appeared to be frightened by my presence.  I sat next to him and put my arms around him and didn’t say a word.  He began to cry – deep, uncontrollable sobs.  He seemed so fragile.  We sat that way for several minutes before I asked him to tell me what was bothering him.  He shook his head and continued to cry, saying that it was “bad” and he was  “afraid to tell me”.  I told him that I loved him and that there was nothing he could tell me that could change that, and that whatever had happened, we would work through it – together.

It took Aaron almost an hour to utter the words, “I’m gay” and when the words came out of his mouth he hung his head in shame.  He had risked a lot by telling me this.  He had just told me something that has caused other parents to reject their children, to throw them out of the house and never speak to them again.  For all he knew, this announcement might bring his whole world crashing down.  I could imagine his terror, not knowing how I would react.

Even though I was stunned and frightened by what I had just heard, I knew nothing would ever come between us – which is why I hugged him, told him that my love for him was unconditional, and tried to calm his fears.

We spent hours talking that night.  Aaron told me that he had always known he was “different” but he didn’t understand how or why.  It wasn’t until he was 12 that he realized he was gay.  Then it took him another 4 years to get used to the idea, accept it, and finally, tiptoe out of the closet and share the dreaded secret with those he loved.

Rick took the news very well.  He made a beeline to Aaron to let him know that he didn’t care if his son had blue eyes instead of green and blonde hair instead of brown, and he also didn’t care whether he was gay or straight as long he was happy, healthy and always strived to do his best. WOW!

Don’t get me wrong.  This was no cakewalk.  My insides were twisted into knots.  I was on an emotional roller coaster.  I experienced a tremendous amount of guilt because my child had suffered for so long and at such a young age was forced to sort these issues out ALONE.  I was hurt because for four years he felt he could not confide in me and I was thankful that he finally trusted me enough to share his painful secret.  I was afraid of all the stereotypical things that I ever heard about homosexuality, including AIDS!  I was so ignorant and felt totally incompetent as a parent.

When a friend finally told me about PFLAG, I could hardly wait to get home and call them.  I spent about an hour on the phone with Dave Gleason as he listened to my story and shared his own.  I soon realized I wasn’t alone.  There were lots of parents out there with gay children and they not only accepted it, they embraced it!  I went to my first PFLAG meeting in April 1998.  While it was a frightening experience, I soon realized that these people were “there for ME”!  PFLAG offered me Support to help me cope with my new challenges and provided literature to Educate me on the issue.  I didn’t know it at the time but PFLAG played a very important and essential role in our journey to acceptance and understanding.

I quickly realized that it wasn’t enough just for Aaron to come out.  Rick and I also had to come out.  We had always be proud of our children and I was convinced that if we hid Aaron’s sexual orientation from friends, family and coworkers that we would be making a statement that we were ashamed of who he was.  I was not going to let that happen!  With Aaron’s permission, I told our family and friends.  I was amazed at how many times I heard people say that they too had a gay or lesbian relative.  For the most part, our announcement was a non-issue.

We have come a long way since that fateful day in January 1998 and our journey has had many twists and turns along the way.  But because of our commitment to open, honest communication and the love and respect we have for each other, we have managed to not only maintain the relationship we had, but expand it to something much better.

We’re proud of our son!

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Sandy's Story

by Sandy Brouillette

Hi, my name is Sandy and I guess you could say I am representative of the “friends” portion of the PFLAG-Dallas membership.  Although I don’t have any immediate family members who are GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered), I have been blessed with many gay and lesbian friends over the years.

My daughter and I moved to Dallas ten years ago to become acquainted with her father - who she had just met for the very first time, at the age of 20.  Unfortunately, it was not a very joyous reunion but we decided to stay on in Dallas as we had met so many wonderful people and already began to form new friendships.  Our dearest new friend was my new boss, Barbara.  Although we hadn’t worked together for very long, she asked me to step into her office one day and confided she sensed I was experiencing some problems in my personal life and offered to share her new home with me and my daughter.  To say that I was overwhelmed by her sensitivity, generosity and just plain ol’ southwestern hospitality would be a gross understatement.  We had moved from the northeast and were not accustomed to people making such gestures – especially in that short a time period.

Shortly thereafter, my daughter and I moved into our own apartment and began to enjoy a more personal relationship with Barbara and her partner.  In fact, we were invited to join them and a group of their friends to watch the Gay Pride parade.  It was a very hot day but I couldn’t help getting caught up in the wildly festive atmosphere.  We were having a great time when an uproar from the crowd reached a deafening pitch.  I watched while PFLAG-Dallas marched by.  Not knowing anything about this group, I yelled into the ear of my friend standing next to me and asked who this group was.  She explained the group was made up of predominantly straight people – families and friends of lesbians and gays - and that emotions ran particularly high when they marched by because there were so many people in the crowd who did not have supportive moms and dads.  With tears in my eyes, I looked at my daughter and said, “next year, you and I will carry their banner” … and we did.

Since that day, I slowly-but-surely became more and more involved with PFLAG and now proudly hold a position on the Board of Directors.  I have met some of the most spectacular people I have ever known and been a part of some of the most exciting projects ever to have blessed my life.

There are days when I am totally exhausted from the efforts still needed to carry out our mission to …  “Support, Educate and Advocate” but I go to bed now with a big smile on my face and a prayer of thanks on my lips for a heart and a life that has never been so full of meaning and purpose.  I hope if you’re ever in the vicinity of the Midway Hills Christian Church on any second Thursday of the month at around 7:00 p.m., you’ll stop by to attend one of our meetings and to say hello to me – I’d love to meet you and welcome you to our next meeting!

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John & Martha's Story

by Martha England
John and I are the parents of two children and both of them are gay. 

We learned about our daughter first and then our son.  Our reaction to this news was fear, denial, anger and much misunderstanding.  We were in shock and disbelief that something we knew nothing about had effected our family.  We felt our world had been turned upside down.  We lived our lives in silence and depression.  We felt there was nowhere to turn and no one would understand our feelings of helplessness and despair.  Finally I called OakLawn Counseling Center and they referred me to PFLAG.

I called the help-line and reached Pat Stone, the president of PFLAG.  She was so kind and invited us to a PFLAG meeting.  We attended very frightened and scared.  What we discovered was that we were where we belonged.  We found other parents like us even parents with more than one gay child. 

We continued to return to PFLAG because it presented us with a warm, caring, safe environment to help us learn to understand our situation.  From meeting parents who walk in our shoes and meeting wonderful gay and lesbian people, reading material provided by PFLAG, and educating ourselves about gay people, we began to grow.  Our journey had begun.  We came to this organization as scared frightened parents.  Now we are parents who seek justice and equality for homosexual persons.  We have learned so much.   We can honestly say, that having homosexual children has been a gift.  Had we not met this challenge to learn about our homosexual children, we would never have known the wonderful, loving PFLAG people who have become our family.  To PFLAG we will always be grateful.

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Jim & Joan's Story

I would like to introduce my son Jerrod.  Jerrod is a wonderful son that any father would be proud to call his son.  During the course of our lives Jerrod and myself have faced many of the same adversities and battles that he is not aware of.  I faced fear and hostility during the 10 months I served in the Army in Vietnam.  Jerrod faced the same fears and hostilities in high school when he came out that he was gay.  We both persevered, and I believe that it has made a better person of both of us.  We have faced many ups and downs during our lives, but I believe that our love for each other has made both of us stronger men.  We are both very fortunate in that we have a very wonderful network around us for support.  Jerrod has a beautiful Mother and I have a beautiful wife.  Jerrod has two wonderful sisters and I have two wonderful daughters who support us whenever a crisis arrives.

It has not all been peaches and cream.  There have been many bumps in the road, but whenever one arrived, we had total support from the ones around us.

I wish everyone could have what I have.  We may all fight and quarrel at times, as everyone does, but whenever a crisis arrives we all gather together as one and work out the problem and solution as well.  Jerrod and myself have both survived because as my Aunt Martha says, "WE HAVE NALL BLOOD RUNNING THRU OUR VEINS. "

I feel special because I feel God said , “Who can we give a gay child to that will love and cherish him without any questions asked?”  I feel God looked down and said, "Jim and Joan would be perfect."  I have told Jerrod since he was outed in high school that he was my hero.  He took a terrible situation and was strong and stood up for himself, even though it could have been very dangerous for him in 1992.

In closing, I would like to say one thing.  I love my SON above all else and I am extremely proud to call him my son and I am proud to have him carry on my name.  I LOVE YOU JERROD.

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Joney's Story

Joney Ferguson is a Dallas native, mother of 2 grown sons, 5 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. She is a staff member of Cathedral of Hope in Dallas, largest church in the world with a primary outreach to LGBT. Member of the church for 9 years, on staff one year. Minister for Congregational Care. Associate theology degree from The Anglican School of Theology in Dallas. Hospital chaplain, Parkland hospital, Dallas. I do not have gay children, but I am gay friendly and a strong supporter of gay rights. Member of PFLAG for 3 years.

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